There is no point to this post.

Hello. Maybe you need cheering up.

Do you like cats?

Source: catshaming.tumblr.com viaMelanie on Pinterest

Do you think it would be better if your cat was more giant, so as to better cuddle you?

San Diego Zoo

Daily Kos

DailyMail

Source: melaniesurani.blogspot.com viaMelanie on Pinterest (yeah, it's a tiger...)

Source: luckymag.tumblr.com viaMelanie on Pinterest (and a lion)

Source: Melanie on Pinterest (kissy)

Source: flickr.com viaMelanie on Pinterest (and a cougar)

Also cheetahs sound like squeaky little fluffballs.

Resolutions

I've had some dreams since I was a kid. Have a pony. Be a ballerina. Be the mom so I can be the one who yells and says "No".

I've grown out of most of those things (the pony would still be nice). Here are some things that aren't necessarily resolutions for 2013, but goals for the next 10 years, for sure. They are all physically possible, and with enough research and determination (and maybe money), I can make them happen.

In no particular order:

1. Be Traditionally Published
I know it's got its pros and cons, but I still want it. My books at brick-and-mortar bookstores (provided they still exist in a few years), movie options, etc. There's so much validation in this one thing -- so much potential of being the "next big thing"...

Source: features.cgsociety.org via Melanie on Pinterest

I've already become part of the Indie publishing community with The Silent Treatment. I'm extremely grateful for the opportunities that I have now that weren't available even 5 years ago. I'm confident that even if I stay with Indie publishing and never get picked up by one of the "Big Six", by dream of being a writer will still be realized. I still want the "Big Six" though. (For those of you who don't know, the big six publishers are: Hachette, Harper Collins, Macmillan, Penguin, Random House, and Simon and Schuster.)

2. Cuddle a Tiger
It's right up there with buying a cheetah. Maybe this is a stupid idea, but no one in the world is going to change my mind, especially when I see photos of other people doing it.

@Michael_Card

Source: the-literary-dark-prince.bo.lt via Deanne on Pinterest

As I've already posted, I would like to buy a cheetah -- and I still would! But realistically speaking, buying a cheetah requires a lot of space (they run fast), a lot of food (about 6 pounds per day), and the initial cost is horribly expensive ($15,000 - $20,000 just for the animal, not to mention the permit to house one). And shoot. My housecat has scratched me up just because she's being rambunctious -- what's a cat the size of a great dane gonna do when it gets frisky?

3. Become Carolyn Keene
We all know she's not a real person (come on, she's been writing for ninety years?), so I want in on this. Nancy Drew is what got me started reading like a voracious maniac in the first place. It's only right that I contribute. Plus, how cool would that be? (Realizing this dream can count towards the "traditionally published" one since Nancy Drew is owned by Simon and Schuster.)

The person in the first chapter who "seems too friendly" did it.

4. Be an Artist at Madame Tussauds
Maybe this sounds weird to some people, but having a hand at creating the figures at Madame Tussauds has been a dream of mine for about half my life now. It's got sculpture and painting and wigs and costumes and celebrities ... My family all knows how much I'll beg to go to the museum any time there's one in town. Now I live near one, so guess where all my money goes?

What's not to love?

5. Learn Bellydancing
I've already wanted to be a ballerina, but let's face it: you've got to start that when you're a wee kid or you're just never gonna be limber enough. Plus, I don't want to dance for a living, I just want to be able to bust it out at the work Christmas party when everyone's loopy. Plus, the costuming is awesome.

Source: evbdn.eventbrite.com via Melanie on Pinterest

6. Live in Europe
Europe is so beautiful, and the lifestyle over there seems more laid back than here. Of course, maybe I'm just looking at a bunch of beautiful photography and coming up with my own ideas. However, after having lived in Germany for a month, I can say it's at least somewhat accurate (although I know you can't gather that much info in a month).

Source: misispy.tumblr.com via Melanie on Pinterest

One of these dreams is currently "In the works" and I can't wait to hammer out the details so I can tell everyone. So come on, 2013 -- let's try not to suck!

I've decided to buy a cheetah

New York can do some crazy things to you. There are people here -- a LOT of people -- and after a while, you just stop caring what they think about you. Before when I'd make an idiot of myself in public, I'd be embarrassed for a while. Now I realize no one's ever going to remember me because they've all seen something 10 times crazier than whatever it is I just did (tripped over a sidewalk bump or something).

Also, 99% of the men here have no chivalry. I understand that women want equality, and that means that we have to give up our seats every now and then. But seriously, nothing's going to make me snap faster than when I get off work (standing all day) and the jerky guy in the headphones pushes me out of the way for the last subway seat.

all right, it could be worse.

My year of crazy changes is winding to a slow conclusion: within the next 2 months, I'll find a permanent apartment and reconnect with my kitty.

Since work is under control (i.e. no longer sucking), and my home will be back to normal, and I won't be training for anything, all I'll have to do is moan and whine that I'm not eating croissants on some street in France. Boohoo.

Which brings me to my title: Cheetahs. Bad idea or no, the idea of buying a cheetah and walking it around the streets of NY really appeals to me. It's the size of a big dog. No one would mess with me. So long as it doesn't decide to run at 60mph with me dragging on the leash, they can be nicely domesticated. Cheetahs purr (unlike a lion or tiger -- which would also be awesome to walk on a leash) and make meow-y noises, which is a huge selling point for me. Just watch this squeaky baby and TRY not to shell out $15,000!

Okay, okay. I dream big. I have a huge imagination because without it, I'd be bored all the time. This is why I write books: it's the easiest way for me to flesh out all these crazy ideas without having to do them in real life. This is good news for the guy on the subway who knocked me over and for my neighbor getting on the elevator with me and a frigging cheetah.

Before I go, I'd like to announce that The Silent Treatment is officially for sale in paperback. There are some minor flaws with the back cover that I've decided to let slide because I can't afford to buy any more proof copies at the moment. With enough sales, I'll make the minor adjustment and re-issue. Until then, get your piping hot first editions here: Lulu.com. I've put at 30% discount on it because I'm cool like that. Expect a cheesy "author holding book" photo soon.